I’m not a first-rate writer or critic, and to be honest, sometimes I enjoy bad reviews more than I enjoy good ones. Still, you’ll probably enjoy reading this review more than you’ll enjoy playing Endless Ocean: Luminous. This game is as important as your average meat served without any seasoning, garnish, or sauce. It’s a bland bite that you chew to get calories, ignoring the needs of your taste buds. It’s like being on a diet and your only dessert for a week is cardboard. You get it.

If you’re feeling more optimistic, check out the Australian review of post-apocalyptic game Broken Roads.

The “Story” of Endless Ocean: Luminous

Dive in from above. In Endless Ocean: Luminous, you’ll slip into a diver’s fins and explore randomly generated maps and story modes alone or with friends. It’s worth noting that I didn’t play with anyone else, as the multiplayer mode is limited to my Switch friends. This limitation of not being able to find random players or join in an open space is unfortunate. This is unfortunate, as the game supports up to 30 players at the same time. It’s a shame that it might be hard to find enough Switch friends to join you on this adventure.

So I dove into the story mode. And what a mundane experience it was. Together with your annoyingly persistent partner Daniel, you, the diver, explore the phenomenon of glowing sea creatures and ancient relics sunken to the bottom of the ocean. Story missions are oddly paced, some lasting a minute, others up to 15 minutes. Some are just a series of animated scenes with no interaction, others serve as glorified tutorials for new features. All this would be fine if there were no blocks between missions.

The Weird Pacing of The Missions

After five or six missions, I received the following message: To unlock the next stage, I had to scan 500 underwater creatures in solo or multiplayer mode. And then the monotony sets in. The main game is to find and scan sea creatures using the L button. There are no additional game elements. There is no careful diving, no need to avoid shark attacks, no need to monitor oxygen levels, no time limits or cold weather affecting divers. This lack of variety makes the game feel boring. Swim to the next crab, octopus, or fish and press L. That’s it.

While scanning, a screen appears describing the animal, which is tedious, especially if you’ve scanned this species before. I had to press B to dismiss the screen after every scan. Plus, if you scan a group of animals, they aren’t grouped together. Each one is listed individually, so you have to scroll through the list to find the new species with a question mark. If you don’t scroll through the question marks, it’s the same as never looking at the new species.

So I scanned 500 underwater creatures, went back to story mode, completed a few missions, and encountered another block. The game required me to scan 1,000 animals. My patience was slowly wearing thin. But I had to write a review, so I went back into the endlessly boring ocean and scanned a few more things. The problem was that it didn’t show how many animals I’d scanned. After an hour of scanning, I emerged and the game told me I’d scanned 850 animals and needed more. So I went back and worked another 30 minutes or so, unlocking a new section of story mode. Surprise, surprise, after a few missions, I needed another block. This time I needed 2,000 animals.

The Look and Feel of Endless Ocean: Luminous

I lost the motivation to continue. The only reward system was a set of coins that could be exchanged for various diving equipment, but this was purely cosmetic. Different colored oxygen tanks, suits, goggles – none of these affected the diver’s speed or agility. These perks are visually appealing but have no real value in improving the game experience. There were also 99 hidden items to discover on the map, but unless you’re a completionist, these don’t add any value to your character or the story.

The visual presentation didn’t help either. We all know the ocean is blue, but many games make their underwater worlds vibrant and exciting. Consider Abzu, which looks magical even on Nintendo Switch hardware. Then there’s Endless Ocean, which has a sad blue filter over everything and barely any other colors in it, which reminds me of the underwater levels in Super Mario 64. At least the game doesn’t put high demands on the Switch and ran without any major issues.

The soundtrack is great, and the whale songs (and the search for them) are fun, especially if you’ve got an XP Panther headset on to get you in the mood.

In Conclusion

Thinking about it, I remembered that I signed up to test this game and relax. Instead, I ended up feeling more frustrated and exhausted than I was after a game that lasted over 100 hours. It’s hard to recommend Endless Ocean: Luminous to anyone. There are better ways to spend your time and money. My only advice is not to let this game drag you to the bottom of the ocean.

Endless Ocean: Luminous is rated E by the ESRB for everyone, but I would recommend it only for the select few who love these games.