Quantum Theory is a game that’s only been out for a week, but it’s dated in design. It’s a game that feels like it doesn’t understand what it’s trying to do because it mixes cover-based third-person shooter gameplay with crappy platform gameplay, horribly outdated boss fight design, and a story that’s so poorly written that it’s just made to make you laugh. If you want to make a living designing games, you should definitely check out Quantum Theory. It’s a very good example of what not to do.

Quantum Theory is essentially a crappy copy of Gears of War by Epic Games. You control a character in third person, leading them from cover to cover and killing enemies doing the same. The controls are the same as Gears, with the same button to reload (though without the series’ popular active reload system), the same button to roll, and the same button to run for cover. Aiming to be the ultimate “stop and pop” game, combat is designed to encourage players to use the environment to time their shots, relying on precision rather than pure power.

The big problem is that only some fights work this way in Quantum. For every encounter with lots of cover and flanking options, you’ll have to go through several others with little to no cover options. This results in combat where players have to run around like mad, rolling around and shooting from the hip while praying they don’t die. This wouldn’t really be a problem if the game was designed with smooth, easy-to-control characters for this type of scenario, but it isn’t. Players are forced to endure rolling giant meatballs of their characters, praying they don’t get hit by bullets, and praying they can find cover to play the game the way it was intended. Imagine playing Gears of War with multiple fights that rely on rolling around like idiots and punching people to death, and you can get a good idea of ​​how some of Quantum’s more frustrating fights could play out.

While Quantum Theory gives players interestingly designed battlefields – that is, plenty of opportunities to take cover in a cover-based shooter – fights can often be tedious, drawn-out, and frustrating. At some points, it feels like the designers are just throwing wave after wave of enemies at the player, artificially extending the game’s length. The stupid enemy AI and very little enemy variety don’t help either. As long as you have something to hide behind, combat is rarely difficult. Seriously, enemies in this game do one of two things: they’ll either run straight at you, or they’ll hide behind the same cover and rhythmically pop out, making them easy to kill. But when enemies get close, be prepared to deal with the game’s horrible cover mechanics. Instead of instinctively retreating with a quick flick of the stick, you’ll have to actively press a button to get out of cover.

Quantum Theory only becomes truly challenging when you are put in a situation where one wrong move will kill you instantly. Whether it is a boss fight where one wrong move will kill you or a platforming section of the game where you have to utilize your character’s very awkward jumps to make precise jumps, Quantum Theory finds ample opportunities to kill you mercilessly. Great, I know. But the worst thing about this game is that it often puts you in a “get perfect or die” situation with no checkpoints anywhere, so you have to keep struggling through a painful section until you finally get that horrible part right.

Sometimes you can justify playing a crappy game by saying it’s a good game with a great storyline and such, but Quantum Theory fails miserably in this regard. The plot has to do with the evolution of humanity, but beyond that, I think my mind blocked out a lot of it in order to deal with it. The writing is terrible, the main character is not likeable at all, and the ending of the game is completely unsatisfying. I can’t say I felt cheated at the end, though, because the game tells its story in such a confusing and clumsy way that I had no idea how it was supposed to end.

Quantum Theory does have a multiplayer component for those interested, but you’ll likely need to convince a friend to play with you. At the time of this review, the leaderboard only contained a few hundred players, and my attempts to find the game resulted in a total of one other player in one lobby, only to eventually leave with no one to play with. If you’re stuck with quantum theory, I’m convinced you’ll have a lot more fun throwing it out of a moving vehicle together and playing “multiplayer” than wasting precious hours of your life on a money-spending game in an online ghost town.

Verdict

Quantum Theory is a functional game, but that’s about all there is to say about it. If the developers at Koei Tecmo Games believe this is what Western gamers expect from a shooter, then we need to step in. Its unimaginative level design, horrible gunfights, and frustrating instant kill sections make this a game I wouldn’t recommend to anyone.You only live once, and quantum mechanics isn’t worth a second of it.